I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
