Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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