trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
