1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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