can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
