I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
