and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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