He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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