shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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