i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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