Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
