I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he was CRYING into my vagina
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
