Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
