im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
