I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
