and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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