I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It was like giving head to a cactus.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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