john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
