Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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