Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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