Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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