if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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