I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
