I wannas sexs uuuuu
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
