i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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