she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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