Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
did i walk over a car last night?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.