Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Fuck 8am classes

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes

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  (330): Fuck 8am classes (330): Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes http://tfl.nu/x2hf
  Replies (15) Good night (4087) Bad night (1526)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.

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  (586): we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path. http://tfl.nu/fhzw
  Replies (17) Good night (1013) Bad night (5148)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.

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  (540): I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans. http://tfl.nu/xkea
  Replies (73) Good night (2234) Bad night (5300)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.

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  (858): I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project. http://tfl.nu/6v94
  Replies (10) Good night (3101) Bad night (1250)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.

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  (787): He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him. http://tfl.nu/klex
  Replies (21) Good night (4556) Bad night (1069)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies

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  (318): What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies http://tfl.nu/mqvt
  Replies (4) Good night (783) Bad night (1850)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes

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  (406): i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes http://tfl.nu/smno
  Replies (3) Good night (1762) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?

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  (613): On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it? http://tfl.nu/27yi
  Replies (5) Good night (1334) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  3pm strippers are depressing

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  (320): 3pm strippers are depressing http://tfl.nu/w12t
  Replies (19) Good night (821) Bad night (1805)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?

  (1-623): View more from Arizona

  You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.

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  (623): How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you? (1-623): You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror. http://tfl.nu/pl6g
  Replies (10) Good night (891) Bad night (1570)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park

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  (202): No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park http://tfl.nu/eb3c
  Replies (1) Good night (478) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all

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  (970): So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all http://tfl.nu/hnjr
  Replies (6) Good night (410) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right

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  (703): Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right http://tfl.nu/qcjq
  Replies (7) Good night (1740) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.

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  (904): im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/hp85
  Replies (5) Good night (736) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.

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  (610): I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast. http://tfl.nu/ocy2
  Replies (4) Good night (769) Bad night (243)

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