I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.