If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
