She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.