he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.