Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.