paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
