Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
