It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
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she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
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You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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