Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
