how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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