Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You need Xanax blowdarts
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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