Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
