Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize