And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
