well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize