my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
