I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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