you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
