you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I deserve this hangover.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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