I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
