But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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