It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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