And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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