She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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