That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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