Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
