I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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