the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
