yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
