Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
