Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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