You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
