I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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