you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
