i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
