My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
where am i from again
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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