i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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